I keep thinking back over to this time last year, and how much things have changed since then.
This time last year, we were in the midst of our second PGD cycle, which was about to fail. I was better than I had been (emotionally), but the stresses of the second cycle, the endless wait for it to start and the struggles we had with the clinic in London were taking their toll. I so wanted the cycle to work but I was desperate for a way out. Spain was calling afterall. We'd had one meeting with their UK representative and I knew I would be straight on the phone to the second the cycle failed (if/when it failed). I was reading adoption books and blogs trying to get a better idea of what it entailed, I was asking questions about egg donation, trying to understand if it was the route for us. I was looking for a way out, and I was trying to protect myself from the hardships of the second cycle that was about to fail.
And now? Now, I'm 6 months pregnant, starting pregnancy yoga and painting the nursery. I look at children running in the park, and I no longer shield my heart. I tell embie, one day that'll be you. And my heart melts. Considering how long everything took to set up with London for our first two cycles, it feels like our third cycle (in Spain, using egg donation) happened in the blink of an eye.
When I look back, I just can't believe how much things have changed so quickly after so long.
I have been itching to write this post for months and haven't quite got round to it. I wanted to write it to remind me of how incredibly lucky we are but also to say to you readers, whatever you're struggling with, don't give up. It can happen.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
What a lovely post. It reminds me of when we were struggling with PGD before Dexter. Whenever Steve or I were stressed or whenever we had an argument about something silly, I would say to him, "It'll be over soon". I knew that one day we would either have our baby or we would have accepted that we would never have one and we would move on.
It took five years for it all to be completely over (with a lovely year long break in the middle whilst I had Dexter) but now I never have to see an IVF clinic again! How amazing is that. It is such a weight off my mind.
Enjoy your pregnancy yoga. I did mother and baby yoga after Dexter was born, that was really fun!
Hi Angela,
Just checkin in to see how things are going. Looks like it's comin right along. I think you better stop callin your baby Embie. It's gonna stick and you'll end up naming it Embly or something so you can still call it Embie as a nick name!!! When we had our daughter we decided to name her something unusual. Chelsea... Hahahaha What a joke that turned out to be. Seems everyone else had the same idea. There's been at least 4 or 5 in all her classes thru the years... All spelled different but same sound... So much for original, but it suits her well. Sleep while you can girlfriend, the bigger Embie gets, the harder he'll kick. I learned not to drink orange or apple juice before bed. Gave my baby a sugar rush...bang bang bang all night.... Sending positive thoughts and prayers you way. AnDee
Shona, you guys did amazingly well. Five years is such a long time. It must be just mind-boggling that you never have to go to a clinic ever again. I was back at yoga yesterday, it was lovely : ) I think there's a mother and baby yoga course as well close by for he/she arrives.
AnDee, we have got other names lined up but nothing will be decided until s/he arrives. I'll probably use a blog name for them anyway. So maybe embie will stick online unless I think of something else!
xx
Post a Comment